Living a creative life has become a natural thing for me. Art, creativity, food, health, experimentation, healing, spirituality; all these things are churning in my mind ALL the time. Asking why, questioning what doesn’t feel right, learning to go toward the flame out of curiosity and inquisition instead of running from it out of fear are things I am learning to do.
Life was a whole lot simpler before I started asking questions. It got pretty complicated right about then. I didn’t just decide to start examining things, my heart was doing it long before my soul caught up. Frankly it is way less terrifying to be what everyone expects you to be than to just be who you are. It (the expectaions I spoke of) is learnable, familiar, comfortable and its acceptable. We all want to be acceptable.
I have always marched to the beat of my own drum. Occasionally I would find someone who could understand my music, but most of the time I would just try to fit in. I have always been uncomfortable. I am sure that is why my spirit started asking questions. It knew I was not where I was supposed to be or who I was suppose to be.
I was trapped:
by customs and rituals.
by toxic people.
by being a toxic person.
by my body and my health.
by misconceptions and deceptions.
by my culture, both family culture and spiritual culture.
by needing to be good enough.
by being self-righteous, religious, condemning.
by being a victim.
But Not anymore. I am calling it done. I have nothing to lose.
I get to create who I want to be. God furnished everything I need to do that.
So it begins. I am going toward the flame. I am going to dare to be more than two-dimensional. I am going to dare to look under the surface, to dig into my spirituality, to grow, to be kind, to not judge, to just be. I am going to find whats flawed and whats not working for me and change it. I am going to chase my artistic creative dreams with all my heart and find every person who doesn’t know how exceptional they are and tell them, show them.
So the only thing left to do is to be;
be hopeful, joyful, peaceful.
Trust in the process. Trust in the plan. Trust in love. Trust that I am never alone.
and be exceptional.
….. ( thanks H.)