For the record, in case their was any doubt, I am terrible at change. However, in my short time here in my new little city, I have adapted to some things better than I thought. We have ridden the fast food train until the wheels fell off. I ordered enough Domino’s pizza to get a free one and having Taco Bell 3 minutes from my house has been a treat. Lucky for me the department stores are close enough to buy bigger pants to accommodate our chubby bliss. Back to a plant-based diet for me. Green smoothies. Yoga pants.
I also find it quite stimulating to scream in terror at each 4 way stop, fully loaded with confused drivers who don’t know who’s turn it is to go. Two cars inch into the street at the same time, drive exactly 2.8 feet into the intersection, slam on their breaks and then yell while waving violently with angry faces. I assume they are yelling. I can’t hear them. It is like a silent movie. I guess they could just be singing along to Quiet Riot, Ozzy or something meaningful like that. Maybe they were just welcoming me to their city. I decided just to wave back.
Still, some things are harder to deal with. It’s loud here. Cars and dogs and motor cycles and neighbors dropping the f bomb and calling each other pet names while relaxing in the yard with their jack hammers and skill saws. Mind you, If I open my bathroom window and lean out I can physically touch the neighbors property.
It is so easy to get distracted by all the smoke and lights and screeching tires. I’ve lost some of my artistic direction. My heart is just not in it. My Mojo is Kaput. I realized that I really need to rest and regain my strength, both physically and spiritually… usually mentally comes when those two are tended to. This is so different from what I had grown use to, that I feel stressed out all the time. I gotta chill.
So I am going to rest my mind a few days and not try to conquer the artistic world or any world for that matter right now. Sometimes you just need a break. Meditate. Pray. Walk. Run. Organize my space. Find that favorite spot for my cup of tea and a good read. All the worry and stress don’t make me a better anything. Not a better Artist, mom, friend, wife or neighbor. So I’m going on a little sabbatical. To take deep breaths. To adapt. To see what inspires me. To take photos and build an arsenal of reference. To Laugh. To Love. To Be.
I need to realign myself with my bliss, my vision and my God. I want to be focused on my art and my family and my spiritual life…. because at some point a little voice will say, Nana… Can we paint something. And I want to be present when I hear it.